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Dating their Potential vs. Reality | Dating Reality Check

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"If they're inconsistent from the beginning then why do you think they'll start being consistent once they become committed to you? Stop dating on potential. Stop dating with the intention of changing them - either accept the person as they are or FIND SOMEONE BETTER."

-Elaine Acheampong, your fav. Holistic Weight Loss and Life Coach.


For the majority of people, when they first start chatting to someone they're interested in (for whatever purpose - long term or "short term" 😉), they usually want to express the "best version" of themselves.

The problem here is that some people put out a fake version of themselves to attract a partner.

When playing a role to attract someone, a person can only wear the mask for so long before it will fall off and their TRUE nature is shown. If someone is 'just absolutely amazing' and almost perfect for you when you first started chatting but they seem completely different or distant now, that would be a red flag, darling.🚩🚫

Now, please keep in mind that all humans will have their good and bad days, and how we behave on those days shows our true nature and personality. Life happens to all of us and different situations affect us in a variety of ways. For example, it would be understandable if someone becomes different after losing a very close family member - their change of character could be temporary or permanent.

Inconsistent behaviour is when they either no longer act and behave the way that they used to (from hot to cold) or your relationship isn't progressing forward at all (stays lukewarm).

What inconsistent behaviour can look like:

  • Periods of time when they text/call/see you loads and then go completely quiet/ghosting,

  • Not keeping their promises to you,

  • Canceling plans last minute with no valid/serious reason,

  • Talks of having a future with you but won't commit to an exclusive relationship,

  • Not respecting your boundaries but expects you to respect theirs,

  • Lying - to you or to anyone else,