How to Succeed During Your Weight Loss Journey When Your Partner is Not Supportive

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You've done it! You have tried and tested too many fad diets, weight loss drinks and funny tasting 'detox teas' that you'd like to admit, and finally, you've found the golden express ticket to a successful and enjoyable weight loss journey! You've now got an eating plan and workout routine tailor-made to suit your needs and wants (without cutting out all carbs and your favourite foods), and you've already seen progress in your first month! Oh, the relief!


For the first time, you're genuinely happy on your weight loss journey. You have a supportive coach/accountability partner, find it easier to make health-conscious choices, enjoy exercising and, oh! Did you forget to mention that you've already lost an inch and a couple of pounds?? 😁👏😋

You're confident you can reach your goal weight/body on this new sustainable lifestyle change. But there's one problem… Your partner doesn't appear to approve of your new vibe. From slightly rude comments, blatant pessimism saying, "this diet won't last - just like the others", and even testing you to sabotage your diet, your boo doesn't seem to want to support you.

Can you relate to this feeling?

"If your partner is unsupportive on your weight loss journey, then it's time to reconsider your relationship. It applies to any type of journey you're on. Support from a partner is non-negotiable.
This does not apply if you have disordered eating/binging/purging behaviours and your partner is concerned for your health. A partner who doesn't support your journey or doesn't believe you'll succeed negatively impacts your mental health and stress. You DESERVE to have people in your life who will cheer you on. Reconsidering the relationship can mean having a conversation about the lack of support, setting boundaries or choosing yourself over the relationship." - Elaine Acheampong

The support received from our social circles can heavily influence our weight loss results. A popular 2007 study from Harvard University reported that chances of obesity increased between 37%-57% if someone close to you, like a friend, sibling or spouse, gained lots of weight.

This study proves the connection between our behaviour (what we do) and those closest to us. To quote the study: "obesity can spread through social ties".¹

Knowing this, it makes sense that we should be mindful of who we spend time with and if they align with our values and goals. It's okay if you want to make lifestyle changes and your partner does not, but if a happy and understanding balance is not reached between you, things might get messy.

Here are 6 ways to deal with an unsupportive partner:

Share your Why:

Be open with them about why you have decided to make this lifestyle change. It may help them to understand your motivation and to clarify that you do not expect them to follow along - but if they could respect you and your decision.

Doing this shows them that you are not planning to exclude them from your world when you make different decisions.


Open the dialogue:

In a gentle and non-defensive manner, ask them if they realise how their actions and words affect you and if there is a problem they would like to discuss instead of giving you insulting remarks and unfairly trying to tempt you. It forms an opportunity to share any insecurities which may be causing them to damage your dieting efforts.

& Open an Invite:

If your partner could benefit from losing a few pounds too, you could lovingly ask if they would like to join you - As they say, "teamwork makes the dream work!". Perhaps they were jealous to see your success and secretly wanted in on it too.


Set boundaries:

Once you've shared why you are making changes, communicate where your boundaries are - this is the time to compromise. For example, when ordering take-out, you will be ordering healthier options and won't tolerate being bullied into sharing a family meal because it's cheaper.

Take the focus off food:

Seek to create a few fun alternatives to Netflix & snackin'. Explore new activities that interest both of you that do not revolve/include eating. Together you may take up a new hobby, learn a new skill, or find out you both enjoy hill walking or ice skating!

Don't throw your dinner-date night plans out the window entirely, but mix it up a little by sharing some quality experiences away from the menu or delivery apps.

Consider if they truly have your best interest at heart:

If you have tried to include your partner, share your why and did your best to come to a compromise, but they still undermine you, then it may be time to have an honest conversation with yourself and them.

Having a partner or spouse that goes out of their way to derail your actions and purposely does not want you to lose weight is not acting out of love and respect for you.

A compassionate significant other should encourage and support your efforts for self-development. Remember that you deserve to have love and backing from those closest to you.

Are you at a loss at what to do with your unsupportive spouse or partner? Would you like to receive firm but friendly encouragement on your weight loss journey? Click the button below to book your consultation today.

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Written by: Andrea Thelen of AuthenticAndrea44

26th August 2022

¹ JH, C. N. A. F. (2007, July 26). The spread of obesity in a large social network over 32 years. The New England journal of medicine.